THE REAL CINDERELLA STORY

By: Clarisse Buhay Aldana

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“Isang bilyong babae ang babangon
Ito na ang ating panahon
Bangon! Babae, bangon!”

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         Those were the song lyrics that were stuck in the head of thousands of students in St. Scholastica’s College, Manila during Valentine ’s Day. Why? Because they danced along to a song that was created to raise awareness on women’s rights. It was a statement. A statement of standing up. A statement of saying no more. A statement of saying enough… Women have voices too.

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         In the story of Cinderella, she was told to “have courage and be kind”. Most people are fully familiar with the theme of her story. She was living in a life of cinders. She was abused by her step mother and step sisters and treated unkindly. Until a fairy godmother showed up and Prince Charming swept her off her feet. Her life suddenly took a big turn because a big strong man came into her life. Yes, let’s not acknowledge the fact that her step mother and step sisters abused her and treated her like a maid when it was only her right to be treated, not as a princess, but as a member of the family. Cinderella never fought back to her family because that’s how she was taught to be. She remained loyal to her mother’s words. She had courage and she was kind, despite how they treat her. So, who’s to blame here? The mother for her words of wisdom? Could be. Cinderella for not standing up for herself? No, because that is victim blaming. That is degrading the woman, making HER the problem, but who or what really is the problem here? You should know that when Cinderella finally got to the palace ball, she wasn’t really looking for the Prince or anyone for that matter. She was just roaming around, trying to absorb her surroundings because she was finally free for once in her life, even if it’s just a short amount of time. She was in a new environment free from the chains of oppression, screaming, and violence of her household.

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         For years, women have always been looked down on, taken advantage of, and abused, all because it is the norm of the society for male to dominate and to have the upper hand. Gender- based violence is still present, hence, laws were implemented to prevent it. But we’re missing the big issue here, that violence against women is not only women’s issue, rather this is a men’s issue. Why else would it be called ‘Gender-based violence’? Just because the words ‘gender’ and ‘women’ are present doesn’t make it any less of an issue for men. Even though the majority of men in our world are great, there will always be someone out there who is selfish and greedy enough to have evil intentions towards women. Therefore, it’s the good men that need to stand up to what is right. To speak about women in a decent way.

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According to a study conducted by World Health Organization, 1 in 3 women worldwide will experience physical or sexual abuse in their lifetime. That’s almost 700 million of the population. And what’s scary is that it could be anyone. Your sister, your daughter, your wife, your friend… or you. What’s even scarier is that it could also be done by someone the victim is already intimate or familiar with. And for women who work in male-dominated fields, like Hollywood, that number is higher. And for women of color and indigenous women, that number is even higher.

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         One of the reasons why violence against women is still tolerated in culture today is because of what we call “objectification”. Webster says that the definition of objectification is “treating a person as an object.” However, the term could also be used when a pleasure of a man is the discomfort of a woman. We see images, hear songs, and hear words everyday that degrade,
dehumanize, objectify, and exploit women. Why does this have to be? In 2015, ‘domestic violence’ was the most chronically unreported crime. According to some sources, 50-80% of rape victims never reported. That is because of the continuous cover up that occurs and victim blaming. For a long, long time, violence against women that occurred in the workplace, on college campuses, and even on random settings went unrecognized and unpunished. But today, that can be changed. Things can be different.

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         An advocate of justice and equality named, Patricia Shea, once said, “When we create a culture of silence, we give violence power. When women are quiet, they give violence power. When men keep women quiet, it gives violence power.” Violence against women is also a public crime. It is not a private matter. That’s why even the smallest acts matter right now. It is better to grow strong children, than to fix broken men. Teach people a lesson while they’re still young. A lesson that can soon be the norm of our society. That if there’s no violence, everybody wins.

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ORACLE™, MARCH 2019

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